Increasing Your Likeability Factor

2/4/2016 3:27:00 PM

Although Valentine’s Day is all about love, this week we’re taking it down a notch to celebrate like—specifically, likeability! The fact is, likeability is a hallmark of successful people and an especially valuable social skill to nurture. In fact, when it comes to landing a job, it’s often the deal breaker in who receives the offer (and even who wins the presidential election!).

For some, likeability comes naturally; for others, not so much—especially when they enter new environments like college and career settings and social gatherings. Whether it’s from inexperience, low self confidence, or inadequate training, many struggle with social awkwardness (e.g., withdrawing, coming on too strong, demonstrating poor manners, and being blind to the social cues of others). Unfortunately, these tendencies can overshadow the otherwise great qualities of a person.
We’ve all been in challenging social settings and it’s never fun. But, the good news is that likeability skills can be learned with proper training and experience. To that end, I came across an excellent article written by Travis Bradberry at, “13 Habits of Exceptionally Likeable People,” which you can access here.
Here’s a list of his 13 habits, which are spot on:
  1. 1.       They ask questions
  2. 2.       They put away their phones
  3. 3.       They are genuine
  4. 4.       They don’t pass judgment
  5. 5.       They don’t seek attention
  6. 6.       They are consistent
  7. 7.       They use positive body language
  8. 8.       They leave a strong first impression
  9. 9.       They greet people by name
  10. 10.   They smile
  11. 11.   They know when to open up
  12. 12.   They know who to touch (and they touch them)
  13. 13.   They balance passion and fun
I encourage you to read the entire article as Travis elaborates on these important behaviors. If you are an educator, parent, or mentor, these make for fabulous small group discussions and (especially) role plays. Practice situations where they act out each of these 13 habits—both positively and negatively. This will not only train them how to model likeability, but it will also build awareness of important social cues like body language.  
Likeability is a huge factor in successful relationship building. What additions would you make to the list? 
For more help on encouraging your kids in the skill of likeability, check out our book, Parenting for the Launch. It’s chock-full of tips on helping your teen get equipped for life in the real world after high school!

photo:, jannoon028